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I spend Too Much Time Pondering Taylor Swift’s Hair Care Regiment

I have decided to chop off a lot of my hair. It’s long and pink and I’m antsy and in need of something I can change and control in the chaos and cacophony of my life right now and it’s either cut my hair or get another tattoo and since I have no idea what my next tattoo is going to be (yet), hair cut, it is.

I’m not daring enough to go Audrey pixie short, so I’m thinking of something in the mid-short range. If I could pull off the major side part with wispy bangs, I would totally go T-Swift on this, but her hair is probably made of pixie dust and rainbows and mine has a cowlick and I cannot shampoo it with unicorns blood (which is what I am assuming she uses). So I googled medium hair cuts for thin, straight hair and as I was scrolling though dozens and dozens of celebrity women, BAM! Zac Efron with perfectly messy-quaffed, wispy side bangs and side part.

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I’m not ashamed by how much this made me laugh.

He probably also uses unicorn blood. Damn rich celebrities.

I have my appointment on Saturday so we’ll see what happens.

 

Not really a blog post

It has been an entire week since I last posted and I’d like to say that it’s because I was off galavanting on some great adventure or because of some other exciting excuse, but mostly it was because my job is soul sucking and then I got food poisoning and barfed ALL the barfs of the world. It was not my prettiest moment.

When not barfing and grading papers though, I managed to slip in an adventure or two, so check back this week because I PROMISE to tell you all about them. And one of them involves booze, and booze makes everything better.

As an I’m sorry for not writing, I leave you with this link to Buzzfeed‘s “This is What Happens When You Send Tinder Guys The Emails From You’ve Got Mail”. It’s my favorite thing right now.

A Few of My Favorite Things: A Weekly Recap

 

I am glad I live in a world where there are Octobers ~Anne of Green Gables
I am glad I live in a world where there are Octobers ~Anne of Green Gables

Anne Shirley is right and I am glad I live in a world where there are Octobers. This is shaping up to be a great one. I attended my first Comic Con, I ate eggs and jammed with The Head And The Heart (or at least part of them) in my living room, the smell of death is sort of almost gone from my car (if I drive with all of the windows open) and in one week my mom will arrive to visit with a whole box of cider doughnuts from western, NY.

I was also nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award by Gina at Endearingly Wacko and I am so flattered! She is both endearing and wacko and she can come to a dinner party at my house any time and we will compare our bedside table book stacks. Check her out. She speaks Russian and tells funny stories about her kids.

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I also learned that I am NOT the only person who doesn’t like pumpkin spice flavored everything, which has felt like a real win! I mean, I love me some pumpkin bread or pumpkin soup, but pumpkin spiced lattes? Gross, people. Gross. Of course, John Oliver is the one who has my back on this rage against the pumpkin spice obsession, so I’m probably still pretty un-American for not jumping on this bandwagon.

I also spent a lot of time on the internet pinning the nerdiest things I can find on the internets and tweeted a lot of pictures of Elizabeth Bennet. Because she is the GREATEST!

I hope you all have a wonderful week full of euphoria and adventure!

~Euphoria Girl

P.S. Don’t forget to tell your friends about this site, chat with me on Twitter, follow my pins, and like my Facebook page. Because ALL THE SOCIAL MEDIAS!!!!

My Sunday Afternoon With The Head and The Heart

Today was going to be the perfect kind of Sunday. I met up with a friend for brunch in the morning and then I made my way home where I promptly put on my pi’s, crawled back into bed and settled in for a day of writing and watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix. Perfection. Then one of the girls who is staying with me this weekend for ACL Festival, came in and asked, “Hey, is it cool if the guitar player from The Head And The Heart comes over for brunch?

Um, yup!

So I spent my afternoon in my living room with my two delightfully hipstery houseguests and Josiah Johnson eating eggs and talking about music and life. It was only slightly awkward when we were introducing ourselves to each other and I said, “yeah, it’s super nice to meet you. I’ve actually photographed you on a number of occasions” (because in my other life, I am also a music blogger).

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He was super cool and genuine and the best part of the whole thing is that he indulged us with a killer jam session. We sang and played and I thought I might all but burst for the pure joy of it all. Because loudly belting out and harmonizing along to Down In the Valley with awesome friends and musicians in my living room with the windows open and a fall breeze blowing through IS euphoria. Cooper even decided to get in on the action. And killed it!

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Future lead singer of our new band, Cooper and the Humans

My Car Smells Like Death and Air Freshener: A Confessionary Tale

Every once in a while my life is a little too ridiculous even for me and it is in those moments that I maybe, possibly, might succumb to a little white lie or two. But I never feel that bad about it because MOST of my story is always true and let’s be real about it, EVERYBODY tells a white lie every once in a while to make themselves look cooler. Right??

But in honor of Euphoria Girl and not being afraid of being a total idiot sometimes, here is my confession:

The Story of the Smelly Car

I have the incredible luxury of living only a few blocks from my job, which means that I can often go for several days without getting into my car. It is because of this luxury that something can die in it, fester, and grow maggoty without  my catching it in due time.

I drove my car on a Monday night and thought it smelled a little bit like farts. Normally I am the one responsible for the fart smell in my car, but I’ve been laying off the dairy lately and this was just a little worse than what I am capable of. It was probably something I’d driven by.

By Wednesday, it smelled like something had taken a giant poo in my car and the smell was quite pungent. I keep my car pretty clean, but I’d left a pair of muddy boots in there from Utopia Fest and maybe they were covered in more than just mud? So I emptied my car, checked under the seats, and finally brought my wellies in and washed them. Problem solved.

Until Thursday when it was clear that death had happened. Only death could make the kind of thick, putrid, scoop it up with my hands and let it drip between my fingers smell. But I had to get to my chiropractor appointment before I could take it to get cleaned and I drove with all the windows down and my head out the window like an excited dog. Only I wasn’t excited. I was trying not to add barf smell to the death smell. Sitting in the waiting room I realized I had brought it in with me and that my life was far too quickly becoming a Seinfeld episode!! On the way back, I pulled in to get take out and the woman at the window turned to tell me the price of my burger and fries and had to catch her breath and she turned her head back in towards the fresh smell of fried things as she kept talking and bless her heart she was trying to be so polite. So I cleaned out my car. I vacuumed every crevice, scrubbed every surface and then sprayed the carpet with a thick layer of foaming cleaner. I WILL USE ALL THE CHEMICALS!! I said.

By Friday morning I could smell my car from a good 10 feet away in the parking lot. Well shit. So Friday afternoon I rolled up my sleeves and popped open the hood of my car and took a look around. Except I have no idea where to look for a dead thing under the hood of my car! I was sort of hoping there’d be a giant raccoon body festering and frying on top of the engine. That would be SUPER gross, but definitely identifiable and I could say something like, “Welp, that is OBVIOUSLY what is making that smell!” Except there was no dead raccoon. Or any kind of dead body that was obviously making the smell! I looked deeper and touched things and called my brother and said, “if you were a mouse and decided to die in a car, where would you crawl to?” He mentioned some technical device in my car that I didn’t know how to find and I decided he was no help to me. Also, the smell was a whole lot more nonexistent near all the engine parts and maybe it wasn’t there after all.

This is where the lie comes in because I told everyone that I found some sort of dead rodent under the hood of my car. Because that is totally a thing that happens to people. “Oh, it must have crawled in there and died,” is what people said. “Uh Huh. Yup.” Is what I answered. The TRUTH is that I threw my hands up in the air and yelled “WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS SMELL COMING FROM” and opened up all of my doors and started searching under every seat and floor mat AGAIN and there, underneath the passenger seat, wedged all the way to the side was a bag of dead mice COVERED in maggots. That’s right. A bag of used-to-be-frozen mice (because it wasn’t one mouse. It was three) that I had bought for taxidermy the weekend before had fallen.

I walk of shamed all the way down my parking lot with the festering, dripping, maggot covered bag of rotting mouse carcasses and threw it in the dumpster.

being gourmet does NOT make them rot in a classier way...unfortunately
being gourmet does NOT make them rot in a classier way…unfortunately (this photo taken pre-festering)

Because sometimes I rockstar at life.

And sometimes I accidentally leave mice in my car to rot in the Texas heat for several days.

We can’t win ‘em all.

Gorilla High Fives Are The Best High Fives

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Giant gorilla statue because apparently everything is better in Texas, even lawn ornaments.

There is a funky shop down the street from me that sells found objects and art of a generally large statuesque nature. I have often marveled at the random and grossly expensive pieces and wonder who buys them. Obviously many don’t. Some of the weirdo pieces have been there for at least the past four years of my passing them by. Then the other day I walked by and saw this big fella and I totally get it because he is amazing and would look SO PERFECT in my (fictional) backyard (because I am poor and don’t have a backyard)! He is even holding out his hand to give me five like we’re already best friends. Or maybe he is creating a perch so Cooper can sit there and they can plot things together. Barnabas (he NEVER goes by Barney, except with Cooper because they’re such old friends) seems like the plotting type. Oh Barnabas, someday I’ll get that backyard!

Euphoria Girl Goes To Comic Con

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Coraline Jones (and mouse)

On the sometimes too long list of things that terrify me, venturing into unknowns has always been near the top (surpassed only by sharks, obviously). I hate unknowns and too often I find that fear winning out over new experiences. Fear can be crippling and I hate that it can do that. Such has been the case with Comic Con. I have wanted to go for a number of years, but I don’t have the kind of geeky friends who want to cosplay or who get Battlestar Galactica references.  Even though I was raised by a couple of nerds, my family was never the dress-up-like-our-nerd-love kind.

I always assumed that I would dress up as something Doctor Who related as it is the only nerd category that I have truly entered a fandom state. And then my appendix ruptured and I channeled the bravery of Coraline and afterwards I thought, Who better to face a fear as than Coraline Jones

So I donned a rain coat and rubber boots, threw on a brain piercing blue wig and brought Puck along for company. He played the part of one of the circus mice well. I bought a ticket and I went. Fears be damned! Actually, that’s what I kept telling myself but I was super nervous and entirely overwhelmed.

But then I walked in and there were crowds of people being and living their nerdness and I immediately fell in love with each and every one of them. ESPECIALLY this guy because check out this AWESOME Cyberman outfit! And he didn’t even try to upgrade me, which was very considerate (and grossly out of character!).

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CYBERMAN!!

AND THERE WAS A FULL SIZE TARDIS!! And the guy with the TARDIS had a key that he had cut to the exact specifications to the actual key and I kind of wanted to become his best friend.

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Waiting for the man with the box

 

Puck decided that he would make a great companion and tried to run off with the Doctor. I told him he could be the Mickey to my Rose…if he was lucky.

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Puck tries to become the next companion. Nice try, Puck.

 

I also met up with friends there, because as it turns out, I DO have super nerdy friends who love to cosplay and live their neediness out loud. Her costume was bonkers awesome.

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Ronan, Coraline and Puck

 

Coraline turned out to be pretty popular as well. I happily posed for many photos and found it endearing that whenever anyone said my name, it was with a soft, slightly higher pitched, “awwwwww Coraline!” Yay for literary nerds!

The thing about fears is that they always seem ridiculous after they are overcome. It is funny to think that I could ever be afraid of a room filled with comic reading, book loving, artsy, game playing nerds. I guess that’s the magic power of fear, the false illusions it creates. Still, I saw through those illusions yesterday and thank god! Because I got to hold a Sugar Glider and now I want one!  Watch out, Coop!

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He just hopped right on my hand and we became best friends

*If you find this blog entertaining, share it with a friend or two (or 5,000). Also, don’t forget to follow Euphoria Girl on Facebook and twitter. I will give you a box of kittens if you do (or a basket of puppies if you’re not a cat person). 

Ctrl + Alt + Delete

Growing up we used to have computers that had a tendency to crash. I’d have too many windows open, be typing too many words for my American History outlines or my mom would try to make a phone call and interrupt the AOL dial up and it was all too much for the computer and it would freeze. And in those moments there was nothing I could do except be glad that I obsessively saved my papers, yell to my mom that “I WAS ONLINNNNNE” (and there would be a lot of eye rolling because I was a teenager) and hit Ctrl + Alt + Del and wait for it to boot back up again.

I seek out adventure as if my life depends in it, because it does. Adventure is scary and often causes my legs to tremble like in cartoons. Adventure means trying new things and venturing into the world of the unknown. Adventure is a risk every single time. Except it is a risk I am usually willing to take. More often than not, my risks work out for the best. Adventure brought me to Austin, gave me incredible friends, taught me how to fly.

I have been working hard to overcome my fears and fight through my trembling legs. It is hard sometimes. Life is hard sometimes and it is easy to become overwhelmed. And it’s in those moments there is nothing I can do except be glad that my brain obsessively saves everything and hit my internal ctrl + alt + del and wait until I have booted back up again.

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*If you find this blog entertaining, share it with a friend or two (or 5,000). Also, don’t forget to follow Euphoria Girl on Facebook and twitter. I will give you a box of kittens if you do (or a basket of puppies if you’re not a cat person). 

Poor Pussy

A friend of mine posted the following photo on Facebook recently and I thought for sure that it must be something that the internet made up. And well played, internet, because that is hilarious!

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Then I did a little investigating and discovered that this game is real. It turns out, it is not x-rated and despite it’s name and misleading drawing, involves neither vaginas nor blow jobs. In fact, a quick youtube search will show families of all ages, playing this game in all seriousness. In a completely G-rated way! I kind of want to ask my grandmother if she used to play this game, but don’t know if I could actually get through all the words necessary to ask.

So there it is. A little WTF for your Tuesday!

*If you find this blog entertaining, share it with a friend or two (or 5,000). Also, don’t forget to follow Euphoria Girl on Facebook and twitter. I will give you a box of kittens if you do (or a basket of puppies if you’re not a cat person). 

That Time I Became Best Friends With Neil Gaiman

It started with a love affair. Not that kind of love affair. He is happily married to Amanda Palmer and they are probably one of my favorite couples ever. Also, he and I have never met. It was a literary love affair that began our friendship. It was the kind that envelopes you with words and stories and it is the best kind of love. He filled my world with adventure and fantasy. His characters taught me how to be brave and he inspired me to make great art. His words provoke the “NOOOOOOOOOOO”‘s and loud plea’s to read “JUST ONE MORE CHAPTER!!!” from my students. He is ridiculous and serous and beautiful and dark and wonderful.

So I tweeted him.

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AND HE RESPONDED!

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 I may have caused a slight scene in the cafe where I was meeting with a friend and the notification appeared on my phone. NEIL GAIMAN, the name that appears in at least 2 books currently on my bedside table alone. NEIL GAIMAN who I adore and love and who I am currently reading to my students!! My co-workers did not all understand, which was fine, because when I told my students the next day, they TOTALLY FLIPPED OUT WITH ME! Because they are the best kind of 10 year old nerds.

And then one of my students had an idea, so I tweeted him again.

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AND WITHIN 10 MINUTES HE RESPONDED! That’s just the kind of guy Neil Gaiman is.

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 What is so cool about this (there are SO many cool parts about this) is that this isn’t just some author. Neil is an author who’s work my students will read for the rest of their lives. They will learn to be brave from Coraline and bask in the silliness of Fortunately, The Milk and as they grow and age, they will continue to explore the worlds he has creates for us. They will have their own love affairs with his characters and stories.

Except I did start to worry that this was too good to be true. So I casually started tweeting directions both to be useful and also as a way of saying, “remember that time you told me you would donate your handwriting to my students and I am totally hoping that you really meant that?” I don’ know why I question the intentions of my best friend, Neil (I’m assuming he and I are now best friends), because he sent this.

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And a week later he sent me this. It is unrealistically perfect and is currently in the process of being t-shirtified for the Phoenixes along with an amazing drawing to go with it. Neil is be best kind of best friend.

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 *If you find this blog entertaining, share it with a friend or two (or 5,000). Also, don’t forget to follow Euphoria Girl on Facebook and twitter. I will give you a box of kittens if you do (or a basket of puppies if you’re not a cat person).