In case you follow my twitter or instagram and are under the impression that I lead a glamorous life that brings me to far off places like Big Sky, Montana where the natural landscape is breathtaking, I present you with a photo of my accommodations:
Welcome to The Mountain Lodge, where it’s like a dorm room, but less up to code and with more bed bugs and black mold. This is the third room that my brother has had since he arrived for the season just after Thanksgiving. The first two had bed bugs. A lot of them. What’s weird is that everyone seemed so casual about these critters. “Yeah, I have a bunch of new roommates. This is their first season on the mountain. Very bitey.” And then they grab another beer at the seedy local bar and shrug it off.
Fortunately, this room remained bug-free during my stay. My brother gave me the top bunk and couch surfed elsewhere. He is a good brother. He even washed his towel for me! Except it is so old (he’s not even sure where he found it), that after one dry, it smelled of moldy fibers.
I grew up with brothers and spent a great deal of time sleeping in the woods, so I can put up with a lot as far as accommodations are concerned. I’m actually pretty damn easy going, but what this picture does not capture is the stench that festered in this small room. There is no ventilation besides a small window next to the door. Considering most days the temperature was in the single digits, it doesn’t get opened often. Imagine sweat soaked shoes and continual male flatulence that has nowhere to go and at times the stench was palpable.
Still, it was free and eating mac and cheese out of a hot pot felt nostalgic of my college days. It also had this view: