Remember that time I had that great idea to go stand up paddle boarding? The weather forecasted sunny and hot and I thought, What better way to spend my afternoon than relaxing on Town Lake on a stand up paddle board. See, the thing I love about stand up paddle boarding is its cool factor. It’s the kind of activity that gives the illusion of being active (but isn’t), giving me credit for being one of those cool, active people who cares about the kind of physical shape I’m in, but I mostly end up relaxing and working on my suntan.
Only today there were hurricane-like winds on Town Lake and in .4 seconds of getting on my board, I was blown down past Mopac. Then the gale force winds blew off my hat and when I squatted down to pull it out of the water, I was blown EVEN FURTHER down the lake and I couldn’t seem to turn my board around and I was all, THE FUCK!
Because as it turns out, stand up paddle boarding in high winds can be a CRAP TON of work! My arms are jello, I almost puked all over the dock from shocking my body into doing physical work and now I am wallowing in my exhaustion and deciding that next time I think that going stand up paddle boarding is a great idea, I’m going to go sip margaritas on a patio instead. I am super great at sipping margaritas in ALL kinds of weather!