I found an old poem that I wrote many years ago. In it I compare myself to a Where’s Waldo book, only I was just a girl lost in the crowd and no one was trying to find me. It is a terribly depressing sentiment that accurately reflects a time in my life when I had no idea who I was and felt like I was lost in some strange and foreign world that I didn’t belong in.And then one day I realized that happiness wasn’t just going to happen to me. I wasn’t going to figure out who I was until I started being it. On purpose. So I packed up my life and went in search of happiness and adventure and hoped that perhaps I would figure myself out along the way.
What a grand adventure it has been. In the past two and a half years I have worked for happiness every day, experienced the world outside my comfort zone (it is oh so exciting out there) and become the girl I have always been but was afraid to be. I have sought out adventure as if my life depends on it. Because it does.
I didn’t know I wanted a tattoo until the moment I wanted something permanent. I didn’t know I would have the courage to go through with it until I sat alone on the table and realized that I should give myself far more credit sometimes than I do.
I put a bird on it (so to speak) so that I will always remember that happiness happens because I demand it and work hard for it. I did it for Mark, who reminds me every day to live my life and always seek adventure. I did it because I have finally figured out I was the one who should have been looking for me all along and now I will never be lost again.
Dum Vivimus Vivamus!
|“There once was a dream, and one day I did see it. Like a bird in a cage
I broke in and demanded that somebody free it ”