Apparently tomorrow is the end of the world, at least according to The Mayans. I’m on board with this because I have found that predictions from ancient cultures that liked to sacrifice humans to please sun gods are usually pretty accurate. Just like I know that everything on the internet is true, you know, because it’s on the internet. Monkeys always speak in British accents. Still, I have some questions for the Mayans. When exactly is the world ending? People made a big todo this morning about the world not ending in New Zealand, but I just assume the Mayans were talking about their own time zone or I guess their own sun patterns, right? So it’s a safe bet that sometime tomorrow we will all be incinerated. Or will it be more like that John Cusack movie? Will there be zombies? Will this be a prolonged end or will we all go instantly? I’m a little disappointed by the lack of specifics. Should I be prepared for evil robots because I am traveling tomorrow and TSA is pretty particular about weaponry?
And if we’re going to get specific, I have tickets to see Dave Matthews and The Lumineers tomorrow night in Brooklyn and I am taking my mom for Christmas and they are both KIND OF my favorite and it seems only appropriate that we give Dave the opportunity to play “When The World Ends” on the actual end of the world. I can’t think of a better way to spend the end of the world, except of course being in Dave’s When The World Ends song because that sounds pretty awesome.
Anyway, my dear blog readers, I wish you well on your last day. If it turns out to be zombies, remember to get them right in the head and RUN! If it’s robots, go for their power source. And JUST IN CASE for some strange reason the Mayans were off on their science, I’ll be posting from my adventures in NYC and Montana. Happy end of the world!