I will admit that I have done Denver a bit of a disservice. I arrived on Sunday night and spent the majority of my day on Monday sleeping. In my defense, in the past 3 weeks I have endured Cooper’s surgery, moving out of my apartment, packing up my classroom, report cards, and two days of driving. Sleep was a necessity.
Yesterday I felt slightly more human, so I ventured to Boulder on the recommendation of my cousins. I stopped at Amante Coffee in North Boulder for the necessary caffeine and then thought I’d do a little mild hiking, or glorified walking, if you will, over at Chautauqua Park. As it turns out the milder hikes have to be hiked up to and I am, in fact, in as terrible shape as I had assumed. I am also going to take liberties and say that it was probably mostly the altitude. Obviously. I stopped every few feet to “admire the view” and try to look like I wasn’t dying in front of the ladies on their cell phones saying things like “yeah, I just came up for a little jaunt on my lunch break.” Jaunt my sweaty ass.
I really had intended to only follow the flattest path possible, but after sitting on a rock in the shade for a while I thought, why the hell not try the real trail. The real trail being the flatirons which are well beyond mild and definitely legitimate.
It wasn’t pretty, but I did it. At one point, a group of kids and their small dog were coming down from the top and saw their moms just a few switchbacks from where I was. “Woah, the mom’s are doing it!” they said. “We totally didn’t think they would.” And then as I continued I heard lots of cheers and claps and I pretended that they were for me. Thanks moms!
By the end my legs were burning and my lungs were heaving and I kept thinking of Kimmy Schmidt. “You can stand anything for 10 seconds,” says Kimmy Schmidt. “Then you just start on a new 10 seconds.” Only it my case it was 10 steps. I counted out each step up (because at that point the rocks formed their own natural stairs) and when I got to ten I would start over again. It was all kinds of pathetic but I owned it. What did give me some consolation is that I kept thinking how delightful the weather was for hiking and that at least I wasn’t dying of heat exhaustion. Thank you Texas blood!
I made it to the top and the views and sense of accomplishment were well worth the embarrassment of the puppies and small children that passed me with ease. Whatevs! I made it. I kick ass!