So I fell again. We all remember the last time when I was sideswiped by the sidewalk on Guadalupe and went tumbling from atop my high heels onto the hard pavement. I dramatically walked the rest of the way to meet my friends with blood dripping down the front of my leg. Well folks, it’s happened again.
Was I drunk? wearing ridiculous heels? texting while walking?? No, none of the above. I was sober, in flats and sending not a single textual message. And while I didn’t walk the rest of the way home with blood dripping down my knee, I have a far worse gash (strike that, there are TWO very large gashes) on my other knee.
Before offering immediate judgement, I would like to offer up my defense. Earlier in the night as I was making my way innocently downtown, I came across a massive snake in the middle of the sidewalk. Actually, I had been quite distracted enjoying the view on my walk that I hadn’t noticed it until the crowd of people pointed it out. There was no crowd of people on my very dark walk home later that night. Every shadow and crack in the sidewalk was obviously a giant snake and I nervously made my way down the sidewalk. As I neared the point of encounter from earlier in the night, I knew without a doubt that the snake must STILL be there, coiled in the shrubbery and waiting for me to pass by so it could burst through the air and bite my neck. (Have we not established that I get dramatic in the middle of the night?). I sped up and the next thing I knew I was skidding across the pavement.
So maybe I cannot handle the simple task of walking, but I think the blame clearly lies with the snake!