*title of this post not to be confused with actions of a sexual nature or the actual James Franco. (you people are dirty…also, I wish)
The James Franco in question here is a horse, whose actual name is Hollywood, but he had a very hipster quality about him and he hated being groomed, so I took the liberty of nicknaming him James Franco. I learned to ride him recently when a Groupon landed in my inbox and I thought, horses have always scared the bejeezus out of me because they’re big and strong and could probably bit off my arm. Perhaps I should learn to ride one. Dom Vivimus Vivamus, right?
|Doesn’t he just LOOK like a James Franco?|
It turns out I was to take English style horseback riding (as opposed to Western) at Silver Fox Farms in Wimberley, TX, which might be the most delightful place I have been to in a while (even if I was the oldest student by about 2 decades). I was only slightly disappointed to find out that English style does not mean that everyone speaks in a British accent at all times, but involves things like “posting” and a smaller saddle. I would have tried to change that but I have always been pretty terrible at accents.
Like most things in life, I took to it as awkwardly as possible, bouncing nervously around and trying to pretend that I wasn’t as terrified as I was or that I had any idea of what I was doing. My instructor was kind and assured me that I was doing great, but I am sure I caught James Franco rolling his eyes a little bit every time she said that. Still, James was patient, my instructor wonderful and I found the rhythm of posting and felt like I had moderate control when I gave directions and steered the reins.
I’m still not entirely convinced that James Franco wouldn’t bite off my arm if he had the chance (I have slightly irrational fears about the motives of animals), but that’s a risk I’m willing to face because I might have fallen a little bit in love with horseback riding and also James Franco.