I have had a bit of wine tonight and the movie I rented was not as entertaining as I hoped it would be. I should have gone with my first instinct which was to rent Skyfall. A girl can never go wrong with James Bond or Daniel Craig and definitely never wrong with both. Life lesson. So here is a post about nothing. Or maybe it will be about everything. Also, I have Gone With The Wind on mute in the background, so it may be littered with random commentary.
I had a student come up to me today with a copy of Twilight in her hands. She said, “Miss G, you were so right about this book. It’s probably some of the worst writing I’ve ever read but it’s pretty addicting. Also, you’re definitely right that Bella is the lamest character in existence. I mean, all she does is whine! I kind of hate her. I mean, I still can’t put the book down, just like you said. How does she get away with that?” I don’t know, but I made her list five heroines who are a million more times badass and better role models for life and sent her on her way.
(Scarlett just hooked up with Rhet. I think the reason I never really got this movie is because I could never trust a man with a mustache as skinny as his)
…Except maybe if he was wearing a jacket or sweater with elbow patches. I get weak in the knees for a man with elbow patches. True story. A boy once asked me in what moment I knew I liked him. I told him it was when he walked into the bar and I saw his elbow patches. He thought I was kidding. I wasn’t. They are damn sexy.
(Rhet seems like a good dad despite the mustache. I shouldn’t be so judgy)
You know that photo of the shaved bear that’s been all over Pinterest? The one that says, “Most animals get funnier when you shave them… that is not the case with bears.” And then is has this picture?
I decided that I really wanted this photo to be real, because it’s all kinds of awesome and creepy, but you can’t really trust anything on Pinterest (there is no WAY all that shit can be made out of old pallets. NO WAY!) so I did some google searches hoping to find other photos of shaved bears that would validate it, except all I got was the same photo over and over and lots of pictures of older and larger gay men with lots of back hair. I was feeling defeated until I thought that maybe the reason there aren’t more photos is because WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE SHAVE A BEAR?? because they seem like they would get bitey and scratchy over something like that. Then again, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that the reality television worthy folk of this great country would do. If I can turn on my television and watch Honey Boo Boo, I am not sure why I can’t turn it on and watch someone shave a bear (the animal kind. I’m sure there is already a show for the other kind). Let’s get on this, people. They could be the next lol cats of the internet but without replacing s’s with z’s (because they’re above that, as we all should be) and they would be a lot more sinister.
(Maybe the mustache is why Scarlett can never really love Rhet. If he wore elbow patches I would be very conflicted)
UPDATE: I have learned from a source more reliable than the interwebs that this bear was NOT shaved (proving my who-the-fuck-would-shave-a-bear point) but lost all of his hair because he has some sort of horrible disease, which is tragic and sad.