Well folks, it’s time we address the penis in the room. Or rather, the penis on my phone. It appeared for the first time (because this has happened more than once) a few months back when a fella informed me that he was sending it. I protested. He sent it anyway and suddenly I was staring down at a little (maybe not so little) phallus before quickly deleting it.
I decided to broach this subject with my lady friends to see if this was some kind of anomaly. Is this a thing? Do guys actually send pictures of their penises? And furthermore, do they think we are in any way turned on by this? Come to find out, dick pics are a huge problem (pun intended). Not only have many of my friends received them, but some receive them with quite a bit of regularity. One friend has protested so often that the fella wrote himself a post-it saying “Do not send weenie pic.” He then got high and ignored it. Never asked for, always protested, penises are quite literally popping up on iphones everywhere!
In order to get behind this plethora of penis and ask WTF, I decided to go straight to the source. As it turns out, the men in my life are as baffled as I am. “Whhhaaaatt???” one said. “Has that ever in the history of anything ever worked?” I’m curious myself as it is clear amongst my circle of friends that while we enjoy what this bit of anatomy can do, it’s not the most attractive feature to be showing off. What’s even more baffling is that any man would want his willy reduced to the size of my iscreen. I mean seriously, fellas.
So ladies, I’m expanding my survey. Is this really and truly a thing that’s happening? Men who are, in fact, sending these I ask you, WTF? And to all of you men out there who aren’t dick texting, you’re some of the good ones. Keep fighting the good fight.
P.S. I refuse to send photos of my own lady parts. When asked I usually respond with “use your imagination” or I send a Georgia O’Keeffe painting.